After starting my wedding career at a chain hotel where we would be expected to rack and stack weddings back to back to back the rise of the 3 day wedding is music to my ears! Having the day prior and the day after your wedding without another couple lined up with their boxes in hand really helps to relax into the experience rather than being stressed out by it. This also means that I can give my couples at Elms Barn more of my attention and we can work more closely together to create unique weddings that reflex the couple’s personality and love. Gone are the days of conveyor belt weddings, long live the 3 day wedding.
When you come to Elms Barn you are guaranteed to get the 3 days, as we only host weddings on a Wednesday or Saturday, to relax into your own corner of the Norfolk / Suffolk countryside where you really can escape into your wedding bubble.
Okay so enough about why I love the 3 day wedding exclusivity lets talk about how you can make the most of your 3 days at Elms Barn.
Day 1: It’s All in The Preparation
Setting Things Up:
We will have already done all the heavy lifting, polishing and flower arranging for you don’t worry! You will come in the day prior to the big day and add all your “twinkly touches”. Place cards, favours, additional décor, DIY projects, sweet stations, all those things you have been ordering from Etsy, meaning you spend less time in the evening stressing about if things will be perfect and more time making sure and knowing things are.
Rehearsal:
You will also meet your front of house manager for your wedding to go over all the details one last time to make sure there haven’t been any tiny changes. This is also the time for us to do a rehearsal of walking down the aisle, especially useful when you have younger members of the wedding party who need a little extra help and a chance to practice without the pressure of the large crowd. We can then shut the doors to the barn and you know everything is exactly as you pictured because you have just added the finishing touches just the way you like.
Wedding Party Involvement:
The set up itself is a great way to get the bridal party and groomsmen involved. We can get a playlist on in the barn and marquee and everyone can get involved. If you have delegated someone to get behind the scenes pictures and videos this can be even better as you will get so many memories from this moment which is really when the excitement starts to build.
Onsite Accommodation:
With the onsite accommodation at Elms Barn this allows for that excitement to continue after you are happy with the set up. You can all stay together across 3 Airbnb style blocks, all self-catering and with large communal dining/living spaces. Stackyard Lodge even has a BBQ and lots of outdoor furniture for you to have some alfresco dining.
Pre-Wedding Event Ideas
Want to go a step further? Here are some more ideas of things you and your guests could do at Elms Barn for a pre wedding event.
BBQ in the marquee:
Want to invite more of your guests over and above the 24 that can stay onsite? How about a BBQ on our reception lawn prepared by our amazing chefs with drinks in the marquee? All the jobs of a classic BBQ and you don’t even have to wash up.
Family Style Meal:
Want to have your nearest and dearest with you in Stack Yard Lodge, but don’t feel like cooking. How about we bring up a huge tray of lasagna, cottage pie or even chilli and rice with nachos to dip up to the accommodation. You can get chef prepared food but the joy of having your dinner in your pjs, if you want.
Pre-Wedding Ceremony:
Don’t like the idea of saying your vows in front of 100 people? Why not do your official ceremony the day before you wedding and just invite the closest people to you to see that special moment. You can then either have a celebrant on the big day allowing you to have more personal vows and unique moments like hand tying. Or forgo the ‘ceremony’ on the wedding and just have a big entrance.
Pre-Wedding Photoshoot:
Ask your photographer if they are available the day prior to you wedding for an intimate couples shoot. You could then relive some of these photos on the big day in your full wedding glam to have the contrast of wedding you and every day you.
Day 2: The Big Day
This is the centre piece of the celebrations. There is so much that goes into this day I won’t go into this now but check out some of our other blogs for unique touches, seasonal ideas, ways to make the most of the space at Elms Barn and real-life weddings told through the couples words.
Day 3: Post-Wedding Farewell
Farewell Event:
This is the time you bid farewell to your guests, some of which may have come from far and wide and you don’t see as much of them maybe as you would like to, you want to leave your wedding on a high note.
Having a farewell event the day after the wedding also means that guests who need to leave the party early for whatever reason on day 2 don’t feel bad for leaving early as they will see you again before you jet off on honeymoon. If you have had a child free wedding but would like to involve children in another way this could be the time to do it in a more relaxed and less overwhelming experience for your smaller guests.
Whatever you do you want it to be a less formal experience for your guests and a chance to relax on the amazing day you have just had.
Post wedding Brunch:
Be that a classic brunch with eggs and bacon or a post wedding BBQ or even hiring in a food truck to provide something a little different. Having a relaxed meal maybe with one long table and encouraging people to share the favourite moments from the festivities and bond over the shared experience. Maybe provide a memory jar or allocate the back of the guest book for the 3rd
Yoga in the Barn or Gardens:
A wedding can be an amazing but stressful experience and now it is done maybe a group yoga season is just what the doctor ordered to balance yourself in the moment, find zen and take in every sensation of the whole experience. We are always happy to recommend wonderful people who could help create this for you.
Games:
How about a rounders match, scavenger hunt in the grounds or even a water fight on a hot summers day. These are all a great way to have your guests team and get a bit competitive but also for you and your new spouse to get a bit silly and let your hair down. And I am sure if you are happy for us to the staff will be more than willing to join in and encourage all your guests.
3 Day Weddings FAQ’s
Do I need to invite all of my guests to all 3 days?
Not at all. It can make some elements more special, particularly the pre wedding events, to be more selective with your guests list. It is very important that whoever you invite to which ever part of the 3 day experience has had clear communication from yourself on the schedule and expectations of the 3 days.
How do we ensure everyone feels included in the celebrations?
While not all guests may attend all three days, ensure clear communication about who is invited to which events. For those attending only the main wedding day, make them feel special by including them in key moments and acknowledging their presence. Personalised touches, such as handwritten notes or small gifts, can also make a big difference.
How do we handle unexpected changes or weather issues?
Always have a backup plan for outdoor activities. For example, if you’re planning an outdoor ceremony or BBQ, ensure there’s a suitable indoor option available. Communicate these plans to your guests so they know what to expect. Our team at Elms Barn is always prepared to assist with last-minute changes.
Can we customise the menu for each day?
Absolutely! We can work with you to create different menus for each day of your celebration. Whether you want a BBQ on the first day, a formal dinner on the wedding day, and a brunch on the third day, our chefs are ready to accommodate your preferences and any dietary needs of your guests.
What options are available for children’s activities?
If children are attending any part of your 3-day celebration, consider setting up a kids’ corner with games, colouring books, and toys. Hiring a professional childminder or entertainer can also keep the little ones engaged and give their parents a chance to relax and enjoy the festivities.
How do we manage the cost of a 3-day wedding?
Planning a 3-day Wedding can be more expensive than a single-day event. To manage costs, prioritise the elements that are of most importance to you and look for areas where you can save. For example, having a chef catered family-style meal at Stack Yard Lodge instead of a larger BBQ in the Marquee on the first day can be more cost-effective. Our team at Elms Barn can help you create a budget that aligns with your vision.
Top tips for a successful 3 Day Wedding Celebration?
Clear Communication: Your wedding website is a great place for a lot of this information, it will save you repeating yourself to all of your guests. You can also get creative with your invites and maybe split these into 3 parts.
Dress Codes: Be sure to highlight any dress code of the different days, for example running shoes on day 3 for fitting a colour scheme for the big day.
RSVPs: Make sure you are getting RSVPs for not just the big day but also pre and post wedding events. This will help you make sure you are catering for the correct number of people. If you are not having a formal seated element on day 1 and 3 this can be more of a ballpark figure but the last thing you want is to cater for 100 guests and only 50 turn up!
Dietary Needs: with RSVPs comes dietary needs. Make sure for all 3 events you have a list of those attending to have additional dietary needs or restrictions. We are more than happy to accommodate for these but we do need to be made aware of them prior to your events.
Prioritise Self-Care: Amidst the excitement, it’s important for you and your partner to prioritise self-care. Schedule time for a relaxing activity, such as a couples’ massage or a quiet walk in the garden. Taking care of yourselves ensures you both feel your best throughout the celebration.
Provide Welcome Bags: Create welcome bags for your guests filled with essentials and thoughtful items. Include a schedule of events, local treats, a map of the venue, and perhaps a few personal touches like a handwritten note or a small gift. These bags can make your guests feel appreciated and well-informed.
Plan for All Weather Conditions: Even if you’re planning for beautiful weather, always have a backup plan. Umbrellas, flipflops, and indoor spaces can be lifesavers in case of unexpected rain or extreme heat. Make sure your guests are aware of the contingency plans so they can come prepared.
Image by Alice Cunliff